Primordial Booze
by SassyJ
Summary: Nick Cutter tries to bury Stephen's death and Helen's betrayal in a fog of Jack Daniels. Abby comforts him....... where this leads, who knows.
1. Chapter 1

_Nick looks for an answer in the bottom of a Jack Daniels' bottle. Abby comforts him. Set after Stephen's funeral..._

* * *

Nick Cutter really wasn't sure if he could take much more. Helen wanted to change the world, literally, and he'd been utterly appalled, _she wanted to play god._ Well, because of everything she had done, Stephen was dead. The friend he'd trusted through thick and thin _but he betrayed you._ Nick clamped down on that little voice, _anyway it wasn't so much Stephen that betrayed me, but Helen, who took the opportunity to do me harm again._ Dimly he wondered when she had begun hating him so much that she'd done all the things she had done.

Now he was alone in the house, surrounded by too many memories, himself and Helen _was any of that ever really right..._, arguing with Helen, arguing with Stephen, late nights, planning expeditions, doing endless research in the hopes of avoiding the tedious business of having to write all of it up, Stephen telling him to get on with it. _Shit. _

He reached for the bottle of Jack Daniels and poured himself a belter. Swigged most of it back in one swallow. Gasped slightly as the fiery sour mash blazed a trail down his gullet. Swigged the rest, poured another measure. Suddenly half the bottle seemed to have gone.

He went to stand up, and staggered. Well, that was good. He was definitely very drunk. But why wasn't he feeling any better. He sat down again and poured himself another one.

The doorbell went. Loud. Insistent. He was going to ignore it. But it went again. Even louder. Even more insistent.

He staggered to his feet and weaved down the hall to the door. It took three attempts to get his hand on the front door latch.

"Oh my god. CUTTER." Abby wailed in horror. "What in god's name are you doing to yourself." She took the bottle from his hand, stepped over the threshold and pushed the door shut. He wanted to argue, but somehow the words wouldn't come. He just looked at Abby with a blank frozen look on his face and didn't resist when she slid an arm firmly round his waist, pulled his arm over her shoulder and steered him back down the hallway, and sat him down on the sofa.

Abby dithered for a moment, she really didn't know what to do, Nick Cutter was a strong, thoughtful and intelligent man, and she had never seen him like this, _defeated._ Leaving him alone here was out of the question, she had no idea how much had been in the bottle before he started, but she suspected it had been nearly full. _It's this place. It's Helen and Stephen... oh, bother... this is probably the wrong decision, but it's less wrong than staying here._

She took his arm and coaxed him upright, _at least at my place there's less booze..._ guided him back down the hall, and out to her car. Getting him into the front seat of her little mini was a bit of a struggle, but less of a struggle than trying to get him into the passenger seat of his pickup, even if she knew where his keys were. At that point Abby was simply running on the lesser of two evils options.

Arriving at her place, she realised that she may have bitten off more than she could chew, Nick was a well built, athletic man in his thirties, six foot tall, and he outweighed her by a considerable amount, true she was fit and athletic, but she was also only five foot two and getting him up two flights of stairs in his current condition was going to be very hard work. But Abby was made of tougher stuff, she gritted her teeth, and grabbed his arm, "Stairs, Cutter..." he looked at her blankly, "Stairs." She jerked her head in the general direction of the staircase up to her flat, and to her great relief she seemed to have got through. She managed to push, pull and guide him up the stairs, then up the next stairs to her bed. He sat down heavily, and looked up at her, for the first time she saw some glimmer of comprehension in his eyes, together with something else that was gone so fast she couldn't read it.

"Thanks." His voice was a bit hoarse and the word was scarcely above a whisper but she heard it, smiling ruefully, she nodded. "Any time, Cutter. We zoologists have to stick together you know." Trying to make it into a joke, but she didn't really feel like laughing. The pain and misery she'd first glimpsed when he almost fell through the front door at her were back in his eyes.

He flopped backwards "So tired..." He muttered. Abby sighed, he was going to feel like death in the morning and sleeping in his clothes wouldn't help. She knelt down and unlaced his boots, yanked them off, did the same for his socks, and hesitated. _Go on, it's not as though he is likely to remember exactly what happened tonight._ She reached for his belt buckle and undid it, popped the button on his cargo pants and slipped the zip down, hesitating again _oh god, this is awkward,_ she gently tugged his trousers down _he'll be more comfortable under the covers like that, you're a big girl Abby, why are you so embarrassed, get a grip girl..._ She leaned over him again, dragging the duvet out from under him and covering him with it, stripped off her own boots and jeans, and was about to lie down next to him when a thought occurred to her.

Five minutes later, she slipped the washing up bowl on the floor next to him, and not a moment too soon. The alcohol on a mostly empty stomach came back to haunt him with a vengeance. Abby sat down on the edge of the bed, and held his head as he threw up into the bowl. _Greater love hath no woman for her boss than this._

* * *

Nick Cutter groaned. He didn't know which was worse, the crushing headache, or some rather dim memories of making a complete fool of himself, something to do with bottle of Jack Daniels, and strangely it was Abby and not Helen or Claudia/Jenny that filled his dreams, visions of being extremely sick, while resting across a pair of slim shapely knees, while a gentle hand stroked his back and fingers gently ruffled his hair. Then there was the vague memory of someone divesting him of his boots, his socks and his trousers, he slid a hand under the covers and checked, yes, definitely his trousers. The idea occurred to him that if he opened his eyes, his brain might fall out, but there was the vague chance that he might be able to make sense of last night.

Something chirped, and Nick frowned. That wasn't right. He had nothing at home that chirped. He cautiously peeled open an eyelid, winced at the shaft of light which came through the curtains and attempted to focus on the object in front of him. It was a lizard, a lizard he recognised. "Rex..." his voice sounded old and worn out, "what are you doing...here." He prised the other lid open and squinted, this definitely was not his own bed. He was lying in a bed that he'd never seen before, wearing only his t-shirt and his briefs. Nick closed his eyes and groaned again, the vague memories of last night were obviously not dreams...

"Cutter." He peeled open an eyelid and desperately tried to focus. "You're awake then." She sounded a bit disapproving, and he wondered why Abby should sound disapproving, then it occurred to him that since Rex was there, and Abby was there, that he was there too, in her flat. The realisation that the gentle hand stroking his back while he lost whatever lunch he had eaten must have been Abby's made him wince and groan again. _Oh god Cutter, congratulations... you've really done it now..._. "My head." He put up a slightly shaky hand and rubbed his forehead, as though trying to rub his brains into some sort of clear functioning, because nothing was making much sense, and the little that did was stuff he would prefer to try and forget.

"Well, last night you did try to Jack Daniels your way to oblivion." Abby's voice softened, he was clearly suffering, "I couldn't leave you alone, and I couldn't leave all my lizards to fend for themselves, so I brought you back here." She was proud of the way she covered her motives. _Truth is, he looked at you all wrecked and broken last night, and your heart turned over, that's why you brought him back here._

Nick tried to sit up, and discovered that the queasy feeling that had been accompanying him while he returned to land of the semi living, was not quite finished with him yet. He nearly fell out of bed, as Abby grabbed him and shoved the washing up bowl under his nose again. This time there was no alcohol induced oblivion to get in the way of the memory of lying across her knees while she supported his head and rubbed his back in slow comforting circles. When he was done, he lay there a minute, eyes closed, even the crushing headache felt better when she was touching him like that... why, he wasn't sure, but it felt good.

Abby sighed, he'd finished throwing up, she should really be pushing him back under the covers and getting on with her morning, there was a report to do, which was late, and Lester was already in a mood about it. _Shit. Lester._ She looked down at her boss, semi conscious across her knees, having already disposed of what she assumed was yesterday's lunch, yesterday's breakfast, the night before's dinner and...now...she assumed the day before's lunch, he didn't seem in any condition to go into work. Quite what she was going to do or say to keep them both out of trouble seemed to be an insurmountable problem. Right then, Nick Cutter needed her, not as the lizard girl, but her, as person, and that made her feel good in a way that surprised her...


	2. The Whiskey Reckoning

_Dedicated to all those who have woken up the morning after... and realised a few things_

* * *

Nick was still asleep by the time Abby returned to her flat. It had been a long day, she'd cobbled together her report at speed, and managed to appease Lester, fed the mammoth, helped round up a couple of small creatures. Now she fed the lizards, wondered for the fifteenth time whether Connor was ever going to come out and tell her that he was back with Caroline, she was very fond of Connor and she hoped, _with just a tinge of regret_, that he knew what he was doing. _If she hurts him again..._ Abby narrowed her eyes. _Well just watch out little Miss Perfect, you'll have me to answer to..._

She mounted the stairs to her bed area, looking for a change of clothes, _and to check on Cutter_, the little voice in her head reminded her. He was dead to the world, one arm flung above his head, completely relaxed in sleep. She took the opportunity to study him a little more closely, three day growth of stubble on his jaw, slightly overlong reddish dark blond hair, in need of a cut. He looked rough, and his face was set in lines of exhaustion. _Well, I've got him some clean clothes, the other things will come with time._ She'd been to his place, and rounded up some clothes, a pile of research papers, and couple of other bits, found a large rucksack and a couple of bags and filled them. Abby didn't really want to think about why she was so concerned about him, but whatever her motives, he needed somewhere else to stay for a while. _Might as well be here._ True this was technically Connor's home too, but there was space for them all.

A little chirp sounded behind her, and Rex swooped over her shoulder and landed in her arms. Abby smiled and hugged her little lizardy friend. Rex was very, very special. Just a little to intelligent for his own good, he seemed to know her moods, loved her taste in music, and could brighten even the darkest day just by being Rex.

Cutter groaned and rolled over. Abby put Rex down on the edge of the bed, and walked over to crouch down by his side.

"Hello."

His eyes opened and she was relieved to see that they were considerably clearer than the last time, "Hello yourself..." he rubbed his face with a weary hand. "What time is it?"

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to know what day it is first?" Abby teased gently, and he grinned back at her.

"Point taken." He sat up, and screwed his eyes shut again. Counted to ten, then cautiously opened them, _at least the room has stopped spinning._ "So what day is it, then?"

"It's Tuesday night, you've been there since late Monday night. You've slept the clock round."

"God..." Nick threw the covers back, realised he was only wearing a t-shirt and briefs, went to grab the covers again, then caught the look on Abby's face and dropped them. He blushed, it did seem a bit pointless being prudish, especially as Abby had been the one to partially undress him.

Abby nearly joined him, to cover her confusion, she picked up the towels she'd thrown onto the chair next to her bed. "A shower would be a good thing."

Nick took the towel gratefully, and pushed himself to his feet. Screwing his eyes shut again, he waited until the spots before his eyes had stopped swooping about. The best part of three quarters of a bottle of neat Jack Daniel's with no ice, _god..._ His head was pounding, and he felt weak and a bit dizzy. It took a couple of attempts for his feet to get the message from his ever so slightly pickled brain to head for the shower.

"I'll put some dinner on," Abby called back up the stairs, and Cutter was surprised to find that he could even contemplate food without feeling queasy. His stomach muscles ached a bit from retching, and the residual headache was a dull thudding in the front of his brain. He adjusted the temperature of the water to a tolerable level and stepped in.

He stood under the flow until the temperature cooled, and tried to find a way to thank Abby for what she'd done for him, without sounding trite or insulting, which was a bit of a struggle since just about everything he came up with sounded exactly that, trite or insulting, or very occasionally, both. Finally when the water had run cold, he stepped out and dried himself off, raiding the rucksack that Abby had brought over for clean clothes.

He headed down to the kitchen, where Abby was stirring a pot from which was issuing some delicious smells.

"Thanks... for the clothes." He felt suddenly awkward, having made a complete idiot of himself._ Nick Cutter at a loss for words, Stephen would be stunned..._ The pain that Stephen's image conjured up was still sharp, like prodding a cut to see if it was healed.

"I was up to my elbows in your underwear drawer," Abby kept a straight face "it was like touching the shroud of Turin." _Tease him, because heaven knows it's better than letting him see how you feel..._ That she felt something there was no doubt, quite what she wasn't exactly sure, but somehow Cutter had got under her skin without her even noticing and she unaccountably felt shy in his presence. Which felt very odd, but strangely good...

"Abby, I..." Nick trailed off, what could he say. She had seen him at his absolute worst, the lowest ebb he'd ever managed, but she'd picked him up _quite literally _and taken care of him.

She paused in her stirring of the pot's contents. "I think you should stay here for a while." Casual. _Too casual, sounds like I'm trying too hard..._

Without meaning to Nick found himself agreeing "Errr... if that's okay with you...what about Connor." He hadn't meant to stay, but his addled brain was really not helping, it was just coming up with excuses and reasons he should stay.

"Oh, I think Connor's found somewhere else to stay for the time being at least." Abby tried to keep some of the disappointment out of her voice, _and I am disappointed, Caroline's wrong for him. _She cared very much what happened to Connor. Although technically younger than him, she felt all the protective responsibility of an older sister.

Nick really wasn't sure how to take that, and for some reason he felt slightly shy being around Abby, which was truly ridiculous, he wasn't the shy type, and it was Abby for heaven's sake. He looked at her more closely, trying to analyze what was going on in his pickled mind was a bust, but suddenly Abby Maitland looked as good to him as an ice cream sundae on a hot day. He studied her slim, athletic figure, the wholly feminine line of her jaw, the sweep of her long black lashes, those amazing blue eyes, _she's beautiful and I never really noticed before._ The thought stunned him. She was saying something...

"The cutlery's in there..."

"Huh."

"Nick. Table, cutlery... dinner's almost ready." Abby looked at him, something about the way he'd been studying her, made her feel sort of warm and jittery inside.

He yanked the drawer open, and fished out knives, forks, spoons; glad to have something to do while he tried to work out just what it was that had changed. This change he knew he couldn't blame on Helen. This was something that definitely came from within himself.

Over dinner, they talked and laughed and slipped back into the easy and non threatening relationship that had developed ever since that night in the Forest of Dean. For Nick, it was subtly different. It was as though the loop had been rewound, and he was discovering Abby for the first time all over again, only this time all the tiny little things were magnified, and now he was discovering the things he should have seen the first time around. She wasn't just a beautiful girl, she was intelligent, accomplished, with a wonderful true heart and a really beautiful soul, and he was wondering where she had been all his life.

It was a small but significant revelation. He'd been bowled over by his attraction to Claudia, then confused by her loss, and Jenny's appearance, and through it all was trying to come to terms with the fact that his wife wasn't dead, but had deserted him to go wandering about in the past for the last eight years. One constant in his life, had been Abby. Sometimes she had done the wrong thing, but her reasons and motives were always good, she knew more about the creatures as living breathing beings than he did, she was brave, clever and the kind of girl he should have become involved with right from the very start.

He wanted to win her heart for his very own, and that was quite a revelation to him.


End file.
